September 6, 2012

Don't Put Off Today....

Super busy....

Changes are still coming, but I've been putting off completing them because I've involved myself in other life changing activities.

In the midst of all the upheaval that is affecting just about every aspect of my life, I decided to divest myself of most of the fabric I have collected over the past 15 years.  I say collected because it really is just a fabric collection.  I've always promised myself that I would use it.  I had great plans for it all.  Quilts for my kids, loved ones, and charity.  Quilts to be made because I fell in love with the fabrics and needed a justification to buy it.

Yes, while I've come to love quilting, I can say that I started the hobby because I loved fabric and needed a reason to buy it.

One comes to certain realizations, they get ignored for awhile, and then one decides that they can't be ignored any longer.

I don't know if it's because of my age, general unhappiness with the state of my affairs, or all out boredom...  Maybe wrapped up in all the possibilities is my fear that I am a hoarder?!

I  am also facing the realization that I will never have a place to put my fabric besides in my basement.  I'm never going to have a dedicated sewing space and ample storage space.  (I've not given up totally on achieving these things, but I can't see that they are going to happen any time soon.)  We need to do other things with our basement besides store my fabric.  I waste a lot of time and money keeping up with it, like cleaning the totes and keeping it pest free.

I've been talking about going through it for a couple of years, but I knew the anxiety it would cause to consider getting rid of any of it.  First of all, I've spent a ton of money on it.  I hated to think of it what might happen to any of it out of my hands.  I'm actually quite embarrassed by the amount of fabric I have.  Once I make a decision to do something, it's best to get it done fast before I change my mind and start talking myself out of it.  I'm not saying I won't have remorse.....

My son helped me bring it all upstairs.  OMG!  My husband and kids are actually quite annoyed with me and have every right to be.  I'm sure everyone I know is doing the math and seeing a trip to Disneyland that we never took or other things because I was buying fabric.

I've been going through it a tote at a time.  It's killing me!  I touch each piece, see quilts that I could make from designs that pop into my head, can't remember for the life of me buying it, put pieces in the keep and give away piles, agonize.....  The process has been on going.  I keep more than I give away and then the next day I give away more than I keep.

The other part of this process that I'm dealing with is realizing all the UFOs that I have and figuring what to do with them.  Most people aren't going to want any of my projects that I've started and that are in various stages of completion.  What a waste! 

2 comments:

  1. we did the same thing at the beginning of summer ... and have agreed to go through what we kept again in six months (but it will probably be a year - just sayin') and purge again ... it WAS embarrassing and devastating and humbling and awful ... and a HUGE WEIGHT OFF MY SHOULDERS - i had no idea how much stress i was carrying around in the form of fabric and patterns and yarn and notions and shoulda coulda woulda's ...... it was very, very difficult, though...

    p.s. - stop beating up on yourself - the money wouldn't have been spent on a trip to Disneyland, anyway - and even if it was, they would still have a long, long list of disappointments ... i know this for a fact - i DID take my kids to Disneyland (a couple of times) and they STILL think they were deprived

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  2. I just have to say that I love the quilts that you do. It's something I wish I could do myself. I've been trying to find someone to replicate the t-shirt quilt that Bella get's from her mom in eclipse. I just have not had time to get the t-shirts or to really do anymore researching. I do know I would be willing to pay a lot of money for one though.

    Don't beat yourself up =)

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