September 28, 2012

Slogging

My family and others are pretty mad at me right now.....

I've stopped doing.  I'm about 75% over caring if people upset with me.  (I still care a little and this little bit has almost caused me to cave on more than one occasion.)  I don't do a whole lot of anything unless accomplishing a task is of some benefit to me.

Selfish much?!  Probably....

Before anyone worries too much about the family they are still being fed, homework help given, and driven to and fro.  I cook at minimum, though.  I do laundry when I need something.  I've stopped reminding people to clean up after themselves and fretting about housework.

I almost done going through the fabric.  I have kept my promise to myself and given about half of it away.  It got tougher as I moved through the colors of fabric.  I really tried to be discriminating and only keep what I thought I would use so I kept most of my tone on tone fabrics, but gave away a lot of novelty fabrics and other prints.  I kept most of my UFOs.

I haven't been designing much.  I designed a quilt for Quilts of Valor, pulled fabrics, but I haven't started it.  I haven't started any commissioned quilts.

I think I'll be able to get back to quilting sometime in the future.  I honestly think I'm going to let 2012 pass and try to start anew in 2013.  Who knows?!

My dad was SUPER and got me my sewing table for the Juki sewing machine I got for quilting.  I was an idiot and didn't realize that I needed an acrylic insert to make the table a flatbed around my machine so I ordered that, but there's a delay for manufacturing it.  I hope it ships next week....

That's about it!

Hanging in there.

Counting down until BD2.



September 6, 2012

Don't Put Off Today....

Super busy....

Changes are still coming, but I've been putting off completing them because I've involved myself in other life changing activities.

In the midst of all the upheaval that is affecting just about every aspect of my life, I decided to divest myself of most of the fabric I have collected over the past 15 years.  I say collected because it really is just a fabric collection.  I've always promised myself that I would use it.  I had great plans for it all.  Quilts for my kids, loved ones, and charity.  Quilts to be made because I fell in love with the fabrics and needed a justification to buy it.

Yes, while I've come to love quilting, I can say that I started the hobby because I loved fabric and needed a reason to buy it.

One comes to certain realizations, they get ignored for awhile, and then one decides that they can't be ignored any longer.

I don't know if it's because of my age, general unhappiness with the state of my affairs, or all out boredom...  Maybe wrapped up in all the possibilities is my fear that I am a hoarder?!

I  am also facing the realization that I will never have a place to put my fabric besides in my basement.  I'm never going to have a dedicated sewing space and ample storage space.  (I've not given up totally on achieving these things, but I can't see that they are going to happen any time soon.)  We need to do other things with our basement besides store my fabric.  I waste a lot of time and money keeping up with it, like cleaning the totes and keeping it pest free.

I've been talking about going through it for a couple of years, but I knew the anxiety it would cause to consider getting rid of any of it.  First of all, I've spent a ton of money on it.  I hated to think of it what might happen to any of it out of my hands.  I'm actually quite embarrassed by the amount of fabric I have.  Once I make a decision to do something, it's best to get it done fast before I change my mind and start talking myself out of it.  I'm not saying I won't have remorse.....

My son helped me bring it all upstairs.  OMG!  My husband and kids are actually quite annoyed with me and have every right to be.  I'm sure everyone I know is doing the math and seeing a trip to Disneyland that we never took or other things because I was buying fabric.

I've been going through it a tote at a time.  It's killing me!  I touch each piece, see quilts that I could make from designs that pop into my head, can't remember for the life of me buying it, put pieces in the keep and give away piles, agonize.....  The process has been on going.  I keep more than I give away and then the next day I give away more than I keep.

The other part of this process that I'm dealing with is realizing all the UFOs that I have and figuring what to do with them.  Most people aren't going to want any of my projects that I've started and that are in various stages of completion.  What a waste!